Hospice Visit Gifts

It’s what I do. I connect with people who are dying.

Now, there’s dying and there’s Dying. With no way of going on forever, however hard we try to pretend there might be, all of us are actually dying. It’s a long slow progression of a billion teeny tiny steps toward the time when we won’t be alive anymore. That state of not being alive anymore likely does go on forever. That’s a topic for a different day.

I connect with people who are Dying. Wherever they and their beloved folk are in their journey toward approaching death I am a companion, and I stay close and listen and help decipher the unfamiliar path.

Sometimes that includes just visiting and being company for someone who receives hospice care. Such visits aren’t to talk about endings and sad things. I get to know that person and be there with them for that moment, and the best part is sharing that time. I’m so lucky to be welcomed into the lives of all kinds of people. While it may seem that as a volunteer visitor I’m giving something, I’ll say that the gift I get back is far more than what I bring.  

It’s really something to learn someone’s life story, their passions, the people who have been special to them and the people and things that shaped who they are. Perhaps a story hasn’t been shared before or everyone who also knew the story is gone. The story is now shared with me and becomes alive again. 

The Late Great Teddy Brewster, who loved a good visit.

I meet the pets, the dogs, the cats (always a hit as I speak fluent Cat), and ask about the animals that have gone before. We talk about the decor in the home and then more stories and anecdotes come out.  Later, in times when things have perhaps progressed more in the dying process and folks are less animated, I am able to refer back to the things I’ve learned and help the person and their beloved folk reconnect around the story

In my life these connections are temporary.  If I remain too much a part of the story the association with the death, loss, and grief can stay too fresh. I may not be a permanent fixture, but I do help the story go on. 

No matter where you are in your long slow progression of a billion teeny tiny steps toward the time when we won’t be alive anymore, the stories that make up who you are and are becoming are gifts to be shared.  Write them, speak them, sing them, draw and shape and in some way manifest them to bring them alive.  Then you’ll be ready to share them if you wish to. And when you are with others on their own journey, you can ask for the stories to give the gift of listening and receiving the gift of hearing them.